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News unharness -- April first, 1996
V-chip classification system extended to books
CLA endorses 'V-barcode' arrange
The Canadian Library Association these days declared its
intention to adjust to the desires of various
Canadians United Nations agency had signed a petition decrying the increasing
presence of "vivid mental imagery of sex and violence" in books
targetted at youngsters.
"Once my girl started reading books within the 'Goose Bumps'
series", says one involved parent, "reading became like AN
addiction to her." even if the books were thus violent and
scary the lady had nightmares. "Soon she started reading on the far side
her grade level and was getting in books with 'adult themes'."
The downside, say most busy folks, is that youngsters will visit
the native library and borrow something they opt for, regardless
of their family's values.
The new book classification system, modelled when television's extremely
successful V-chip, has been dubbed the V-barcode, as a result of every
book can have a machine-readable "barcode" on the spine that
encodes a rating of the book's contents on many scales:
sex, violence, coarse language, drug use, religion, and
'alternative lifestyles'.
"This is not concerning censorship", says Keith Spicer, United Nations agency recently
joined the CLA as policy director when feat the CRTC, "this
is concerning selection, ... concerning empowering folks to create selections."
Under the new system, folks can choose their family's
"tolerance levels" on every scale. These square measure encoded as a barcode
on their child's identity card. once a toddler desires to borrow a
book, the professional merely passes the identity card and book over
a scanner (just just like the ones utilized in the supermarket) and
a screen instantly displays whether or not authorization ought to
be granted. "It's a marvel of technology", bubbles Spicer,
"it's a bit like the child's parent is there, voice communication to the kid
-- 'No, we do not borrow that sort of book during this family.'".
The CLA dismisses complaints the system are heavy.
"We have already got barcodes on most books, that the price of the new
system are incidental", aforementioned a CLA voice.
Library patrons will expect to pay a further $5 annually
over their traditional borrowing fees.
"The V-barcode is simply alittle a part of the answer
for addressing violence in books," says Spicer. "The best
way of addressing unhealthy books is to possess additional smart books,
and we hope that after youngsters stop borrowing the unhealthy books
publishers can begin printing books of higher quality."
There square measure still a number of wrinkles to be figured out, however.
Some skeptical folks assume youngsters would possibly begin hanging
out in libraries -- wherever they'll still browse books they
aren't allowed to borrow. Still, to several folks, the new
system provides a parent additional management over what their kid reads
than is that the case while not this technology. "It's a social
experiment value trying", says one parent, "It are
interesting to visualize what pointers are required and
who are doing the drawing. it'll force individuals to
reflect on ethics and reading, that are some things we have a tendency to might
afford to be additional reflective concerning."
Enthusiasts of the V-barcode would love to visualize its use distended.
"We'd wish to see the V-barcode system adopted in bookstores",
says Keith Spicer, "We've already got a pilot program going
with the Cole's bookshop chain and also the Bank of urban center wherever
the parental tolerance levels square measure encoded into the mag-stripe
on the child's charge plate." A book purchase will be declined
at the checkout if it exceeds the family's tolerance levels.
"Cash purchases," says Spicer, "are still a drag."
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Halloween Short Jokes
Friend: What ar you gonna be for halloween?
Me: Drunk!
What does one decision a hot dog with nothing within it?
A "hollow-weenie!"
For Allhallows Eve i am planning to write "Life" on an understandable white jersey and distribute lemons to strangers
Which ghost is that the best dancer?
The jazz Man!
This Allhallows Eve, the sole Candy i am interersted in swings from a pole and has dad problems
"Halloween" = Associate in Nursing excuse for ladies to decorate up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Allhallows Eve, all of a abrupt, cobwebs in my house ar decorations!
I'll be your trick if you will be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween?
Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
On Fry Day
What's a monsters favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What does one decision a Allhallows Eve boner?
Petrified wood
What does one decision a diversion ghost?
Polka-haunt-us
Q: however does one write a book regarding halloween?
A: With a ghost.
I'm planning to celebrate Allhallows Eve a similar approach I invariably do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
Two monsters visited a Allhallows Eve party.
Suddenly one same to the opposite, "A girl simply rolled her eyes at American state. What ought to I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
Q: Why was the woman petrified of the vampire?
A: He was all bite and no bark.
Q: wherever will Count Dracula sometimes eat his lunch?
A: At the casketeria.
Q: What will a lamia ne'er order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich...
Q: Why do vampires want mouthwash?
A: they need bat breath...
Q: What will a lamia worry most?
A: caries.
Q: what is a vampire's favorite quick food?
A: a bloke with terribly high pressure level...
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: to prevent his coffin
Q: what's a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A vas...
Q: Why did the lamia browse the Wall Street Journal?
A: He detected it had nice circulation.
Q: what's a vampires favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving
Q: What happens once 2 vampires meet?
A: it absolutely was love initially bite!
Q: that building will Dracula visit in New York?
A: The lamia State Building.
Q: What does one get after you cross a lamia with the internet?
A: blood-thirsty hacker baby
Q: What does one get after you cross a lamia and a snow man?
A: injury
Q: Why do vampires scare people?
A: they're bored to death!
Q. what's a vampires favorite frozen dessert flavor?
A. Vainilla.
Q: however are you able to tell a lamia likes baseball?
A: nightly he turns into a bat.
Q: what is it prefer to be kissed by a vampire?
A: it is a pain within the neck.
Q: however are you able to tell once a lamia has been during a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
Q: What songs will Dracula hate?
A: "You ar My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders.
Q: however will a woman lamia flirt?
A: She bonkers her eyes.
Q: what's a vampires least favorite food?
A: Steak
Q: what is it referred to as once a lamia has hassle along with his house?
A: A grave drawback.
Q: Why does not anybody like Dracula?
A: He includes a bat temper.
Q: Why did Dracula visit the dentist?
A: He had a fang-ache.
Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula
Q: Why ar vampires like false teeth?
A: all of them take off at midnight.
Q: WHO will Dracula get letters from?
A: His fang club.
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: to prevent his coffin.
Q: Why will Dracula wear leather shoes?
A: Sandals do not look smart along with his evening clothes.
Q: What variety of dog will each lamia have?
A: Bloodhound!
Q: Why did the lamia want mouthwash?
A: as a result of he had bat breath.
Q: what is a Vampire's least favorite song?
A: Another one bites the dust!
Q: what's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A: A necktarine
Q: however did the ghost say good-by to the vampire?
A: farewell sucker!
Q: What did Dracula have for dessert?
A: Whine & Ice scream
Q: what's Dracula's favorite restaraunt?
A: Murder King
Q: wherever do vampires keep their money?
A: The blood bank!!!
Q: What did Dracula say when reading of these jokes?
A: They suck!
Q: what's a vampire's favorite sport?
A: Casketball...
Q: Why will Dracula contemplate himself an honest artist?
A: as a result of he likes to draw blood!
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